Drawing plans in our mind is a sport in which we all seem to be experts. To go to such a place, to do such a thing, to prove such another, numerous possibilities in which we can rejoice for hours imagining all your details and the good that we will pass with those that we go out. However, there is still the complicated part without which, the simple view, no plan could be realized, that is, to coordinate with our guests. Sometimes everyone can and there is not much to organize, sometimes (almost always) no one coincides with the schedules and the plan, sad and inevitably, ends up fading. In short, realizing exits with friends does not always go well; however, it is still possible to think of another kind of plans that include one guest: ourselves.Salir is just an art and can be a challenge for those who usually go out with other people, i.e. most of us. After all, "we are social beings by nature", phrase harto repeated and considerably certain. Where to go out alone? How long will we be able to enjoy our own company without feeling the anxiety of taking refuge in our mobile phones? The art of leaving alone can assume endless questions, but with them a vast space of creation to learn to know ourselves and understand our limits and possibilities. Then a brief guide to survive a single exit.
Experience your own presence
I still remember one of my first plans alone. I had come out of shopping a hot day and I was sick to have an orange juice as cold as possible, so I got into a coffee, took a seat on a table for four and asked for it. The young man, as expected, asked me if I was expecting someone else and challenged that no (perhaps the most satisfying to leave is that there is never to wait for anyone). Eventually, I began to look around me and noticed that everyone had company. “And now who I am talking to?” he asked me. I quickly grabbed my cell phone and opened Instagram, this social network so addictive that it only gets bored on two occasions: when we are in a waiting room and when we go out to merry alone. “I would have brought me a book,” I thought (yes, the best friend to make plans alone is a book). My request has come and I have plundered a clear picture, with shame that the others eat me (no, no one is looking, no one cares). I suffer my juice, which I accompanied with two half-lights, and looked at the horizon until I asked for the account.The hardest to make plans alone is the desperate and almost always failed search for external stimuli. Messages, social networks, people close to ours, something to make us offer distraction from what is really happening. It is that there is nothing more complicated than experiencing our own presence, especially in the times that run. Making plans alone is an art because what we are doing is not going out to distract us, but on the contrary, to be more present than ever. A kind of meditation, but fun: we observe what happens, we hear, we feel, and through this presence we learn to enjoy our own company, in plans that we normally do with other people.Bet for our tastes
Making plans alone is an excellent opportunity to get out of our comfort zone, but we do not necessarily have to run from the narrow space of our comfort if we do not feel pleasantly with it. A good recommendation to start out in the art of going out alone is to choose plans that respond to our personal tastes and to what we really like to do, adding the condition that this time we will prescind from someone else's company. In other words, we can stand out alone as an experience that points to discover how well we take ourselves with us, without the need to force ourselves to place ourselves in places that do not please us.A plan with us can involve simply going out for a coffee, but if sitting on a table alone awakens anxieties and nervousnesses, a good option to start can be to walk out listening to music, or to tend to a blanket in a park and take us a book, or maybe go out shopping. The best of these plans is that we do not rely on anyone else to execute them, which extends the margins of freedom to design exits that really have us.Make plans alone to make plans with others
Invite with our presence, to be happy alone performing an activity we like, the opportunities that offers us the mere fact of going out alone to take a coffee or to look at a movie in the cinema are considerably numerous. If there's something I've learned by making plans alone is that, from the experimentation of this class of plans, the experience of going out with other people changes radically. Being fully present in a solitary plan allows us to enjoy the same presence of conversations with our friends, without the need to see stories on social networks with other people and other plans, while our own plan is developing.The art of going out is endless jokes to tell the people we meet with, many conversation issues that will make the experience we have in terms of exits much more interesting. In fact, making plans alone can be the most common in the world when one manages to get used to not relying on someone else's confirmation. If we cannot always coincide with others, the opportunity to coincide with ourselves is around the corner.Do you want to validate this article?
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ethel rosso
Psychologist (MN 81203). Buenos Aires.
I like to do yoga, read, and go for long walks. Sometimes I write because I am too curious.
You can also find me on my Instagram @psicologa.ethelrosso.
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