Why did I lie in the healthy world?
Monday
Dear diary: I have done everything well today, I have not eaten anything fat. I'm very happy.
Thursday
Dear daily: today at the end of the day, not watering and, I ate two alfajores, a package of gomites and a room of ice cream.
So they were ripping and finishing my weeks... It was an endless circle.
When I began to develop as a woman, I began to feel the need to be “lined” and have “physical boom”. I think by the culture I grew up in, I saw myself more pressured. Sent people's eyes as if they were a scanner that looked at me from above. Sent the criticism of others through their eyes. Then they took my insecurities from my body. I have a long time to overcome this: diets, opinions of others, judgments...
And so on. Every day he wrote what he consumed. And he regarded him as "good" or "bad". Clearly I had no idea that, in reality, what was wrong with me was to be so pending than I ate: get to the point of not enjoying one of the greatest pleasures of life... eat.
I deprived myself so much in the week, that when the weekend touched the door, I was eating ALL. I was so embarrassed to eat too much, to hide it. Nobody knew that but me.
When this anxiety monster attacked there was nothing I could do. Once I ate a gomite my thought was “It’s gone, now I have to take advantage and eat everything because tomorrow I get the diet again.” The following days, he was doing sports like crazy to “burn” everything he had eaten... Why do you quote them? Because today, I understand it doesn't work that way, what I did wasn't healthy. Not to mention our friend the scale, she was there every morning, until she took my bomb to weigh less. I was going to the nutritionist, who constantly repeated: “Pauli, I can no longer reduce you anything else, your body feels comfortable with that weight.” However, I wanted to keep falling, nothing conformed to me.
Next to me was my sister, much bigger than me, she had already gone through all this and had found “the solution”. I did not stay diet that prove, asique probei his method. This secret formula that was going to change my life. It was something as simple as giving me a taste every day. And it wasn't a boring choco rice, it was and is, an ice cream or a tailor and if you wanted a triple. Soon there was a balance in my diet.
At first, I felt guilty and I was breaking up with the pactado with myself... I was afraid "arriesgarme" to go back up weight. But I also realized that this anxiety monster was going to disappear and with that the nightly attractions.
In the end I realized that everything in life is a balance. The main thing is to have physical and mental health. And I was leaving both sides. I learned to hear my body. And I learned to enjoy the food. and turn these insecurities into activities that I like to do: sport, cook healthy (and not also), make recommendations of a really healthy life through my networks... among other things. And above all, I thank you for what I have, for the person I have become, for what I have learned throughout this stage of confusion. I embraced myself by the awareness I had at that time, that I would not let myself see beyond my fears. Now you fight for what I want. As I say to fight for what I want, I mean to know to have my own opinion, to know that it is healthy for me and, to want, to embrace me and to pamper me
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